Tuesday, February 28, 2012

miscellaneous

  • I'm super unmotivated today. So much so that I'm not sure if "unmotivated" is even a word but I'm not bothering to check.

  • I'd like to just stay home today and make breakfast foods.

  • But instead I'm flying to Tampa for work. At least it's warm there.

  • I had such a productive day yesterday I fear I used up all my productivity for the week. And it's Tuesday.

  • The baby got pink eye. Again. But not nearly as bad this time. In fact, after a few doses of meds yesterday, she looks way better already.

  • One of the day care providers? Her husband died yesterday, and I'm terribly sad for her. I keep thinking about how he enjoyed the pumpkin bread we gave them as part of their Christmas present. How he'd ask her each night (until it was gone) if he could have a piece.

  • Hubby had a 24-hour sickness thing that I was afraid he passed on to me but now I'm thinking maybe (hopefully) it's just allergies. Perhaps Tampa will be good for something.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

16 weeks (+1 day, 2nd ed.)

So I think this will be a little different this second time around. As I don't plan on there being a third time around, I probably won't refer back to this as much so things might not be as detailed. You know, that, and the baby brain keeps me from remembering things...

Total weight gain: About 5 pounds. Apparently enough to be at the point where I just look chubby.


Movement: I don't think I've felt anything besides gas.

Cravings: Goodness. I guess I just crave food. I have a crazy appetite and I'll be honest with you. I haven't eaten as well this time around. Sorry, bebe!

Belly button: I'm only going to include this one time. Per my surgeon, I should remain an innie. If he turns out to be lying, I'll let you know.

Similarities: We're using the same OB as last time. No real morning sickness. Started off having bad skin. Still having headaches. Baby brain.

Differences: The OB has moved offices/practices. So far things seem to be going a little more smoothly at this new place. Much slower weight gain this time around. At the 12-week visit I still hadn't gained anything. I think it seriously took until about 2 weeks ago to start putting on weight. And keeping it on. Freakin' weird digestive issues. While I felt better during the first trimester this time, it seems like maybe my gall-bladder-less digestive system has been getting angry sometimes. Caffeine intake is next to nothing to try to tame the beast. I have also been way more physically active this time around. Perhaps that staved off some early weight gain. Who knows... I guess I'm also less focused on this pregnancy than I was the first time around. I had done way more preparation by now. I'm just too busy to dwell on things very often. We are finding out the sex in a few weeks so I'm very much looking forward to that.

Preparations: Been thinking about baby names a little bit but won't focus on this until we know the gender. We're having a tiny gender reveal party with the immediate family so have been planning that. We got a crib that someone in the neighborhood was throwing away. A little tweaking and it will be good to go. I'm waiting to find out the sex before starting the quilt. We'll probably prep the nursery super last-minute. I did buy one item for the baby, a teeny tiny onesie. I should probably make a list of what things we'll need. I don't know. Considering that we're thinking of selling the house, I don't really feel like putting too much effort into the nursery changes yet. I have no idea what kind of time frame we're looking at with all that.

Anything else interesting? The baby's heartbeat was 155 bpm at the appointment last week. It was much easier to find it this time than last. I broke out the maternity pants last week for the first time. I can still fit into a lot of my regular clothes (even my jeans above) but sometimes you just don't want anything tight across your bulging belly.

Monthly wisdom/rambling: Huh. Did I really have wisdom every week last time? As I'm just posting every 4 weeks now, hopefully I'll be able to think of something. So pregnancy the first time around and each subsequent time will obviously not be the same. Every pregnancy is different yada yada but you're different. Where you're coming from is different. What the pregnancy means is different. The first one was starting our family, making us parents. This one is completing it. We're not completely clueless regarding pregnancy, childbirth, parenting. Thank God. Everything the first time around is so new. And you have so much free time to just think about it all. While pregnancy #2 may not be as exciting and novel in some ways, I think it's important to still treat it well. Try to do things that will make that baby feel special, too. (Things like a gender reveal party...not like a crib that was destined for the dumpster.) I'm going to try very hard to keep a good baby book this time around and will definitely be making that baby quilt. I imagine these two kids will be fairly different and they may need to be treated differently due to personalities. But both will be (or actually are) so special to me. I want them to both know that.

(image from thebump.com)

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

balance

Somewhere along the way I stopped doing New Years Resolutions. Did you notice? Instead, I figured I'd just focus on a few items on the ol' Life List. Like maybe these:

  1. Have that second child.

  2. Find the perfect mac and cheese recipe. (Can you believe I'm still looking?!)

  3. Make a baby quilt for that second child.

  4. And keep the beginnings of a good baby book for that same kid.

  5. To work on my posture. (Do you think that's a good or bad idea considering I'll be pregnant for 2/3 of the year?)


Do you think I should add "keep sane" to the list? Do you think I even have any sanity left to keep?

Anyway, the other idea that some folks embrace at the new year is to pick one word that they want to describe the upcoming 365 days (or 366 in this case). The word I have chosen and then kept a secret until now is balance. This should have been my word for the last several years but I'm claiming it this time. Considering we're going to change things up big time again this year (see #1 above), I need to work on cultivating balance in a big way. I need to have more specific goals and ideas related to this. Anyone have any tips?

Oh, and also for 2012? We're going to try to sell our house and buy a new one. And I'm trying to get moved into a different position at my company. You know we don't like to make just one major life change at a time, right?

Wednesday, February 08, 2012

what we will not be naming the baby

As many of you know, we had a hard time picking a name when Chicken was born. As we were Team Green, we had to think about boy and girl names. We ended up making our own lists, vetoing, vetoing some more, combining the remaining names, vetoing, and narrowing it down to 4 of each gender by the time we headed to the delivery room. Will baby #2's name come from the short list? Who knows... If it's a girl, I doubt it. But here are some rejects that won't be revived. Under any circumstances.

Girls
Auden
Clover
Verlaine
Winifred
Padget
Winda

Boys
Doyle
Langston
Longhorn/Langhorn
Philemon
Birch
O'Neill

Mmhmm. I'm not even making these up.

Monday, February 06, 2012

one more open bag, escaped cat

Lots of people have asked a lot of questions lately. Yes, I really am going to stop the monthly letters to and pictures of Chicken. Hopefully that will mean more frequent posting as things occur. She'll probably get a yearly letter. While I know they do keep on rapidly changing, I don't think any year can compare to the first in that department. Granted, it's the only one we've experienced thus far.

No, I don't plan on doing weekly updates during this pregnancy. I do hope to do monthly ones along with monthly belly pics. The very detailed record the first time around was for many reasons, not the least of which was to help me remember (during pregnancy #2) what happened when (during pregnancy #1). It's amazing how quickly you forget stuff.

Yes, I'm planning on going back to work once we have 2 kids (under 2. OMG.).

Yes, we were trying. No, it's probably very rarely ok to ask someone that question. Perhaps only to your best friend.

As we already have tons of baby crap, this baby won't add a whole lot by way of "stuff" to this house. The baby him or herself will be quite small. We'll be able to fit he or she neatly upstairs in the co-sleeper (um, if we can borrow it again). By the time he or she is ready to move downstairs, Chicken will be forced to share a room. You know, if we still live here.

Yes, we're starting to prep the house for sale. The very beginnings of prepping that will likely take quite some time, as do all things these days.

Yes, we'll find out what we're having before the baby is born. Yes, we'll tell you. No, we won't tell you the name as he or she probably won't have one until after his or her appearance.

Like last time, I did journal some privately before announcing the pregnancy publicly. Here's what you need to bring you up to speed. (And, as always, TMI.)

December 6, 2011- So. Five weeks, one day with baby #2. Pretty crazy. We decided to try when Chicken was 9 months old. That was a hard-fought compromise since Hubby would have had me pregnant ASAP. I needed some recovery time both physically and mentally... So we tried in October to no avail. I guess because Chicken came on the first try I was a little concerned something was wrong with me. And I was disappointed. That was a good sign. At least I knew I was on board with trying for baby #2. As it turns out, we needed one month to conceive baby #1 and 2 months for baby #2.

November was our month. My temps looked promising until the day before Thanksgiving. I broke down and [took a test] that day and got a negative. Disappointment again. But it was early and there was still a little hope. On Thanksgiving morning my temp rose again and I [tested] again. I swear, it's addicting. And sad because you're just peeing on money only to throw it away. But, oh! The peace of mind! Totally worth it. Anyway, it was pretty immediately a very faint positive. I told Wyatt I thought it was positive and he was happy. I was happy, too. It seems like there were fewer conflicting emotions this time around. I don't know how people do it when battling infertility. The one month of not getting pregnant was pretty bad. I would think that would be compounded with each subsequent month. It would be hard to have hope. So glad things have worked out for us. Really a miracle.

The morning I got the faint + turned into the morning I got the worst stomach virus ever... I finally felt good enough to go to urgent care on Sunday. Pretty much nothing they could do for me but did confirm the pregnancy. It's funny how being so sick didn't leave me thinking about the baby much except for worrying that I wasn't the most hospitable environment. I was concerned about that...

I was trying to figure out how soon I had weird digestive issues last time and hope to avoid them this time. I'm still excited about the new baby but am also having a hard time believing it's happening. I think it will be more real after the first OB visit on Dec. 20th... Part of me is really glad to get the pregnancy portion of my life over with. I guess I just worry about my health more now in general. Maybe being pregnant will help that since there are all sorts of weird feelings and symptoms that are totally normal. I'm glad to sorta know what to expect, too. I hope this pregnancy goes as well as Chicken's. Somehow I bet it goes by more quickly. You're just too busy to dwell on every little detail when you already have a baby. I hope we adjust ok. I'm guessing it won't be quite as big of an adjustment as it was to go from zero to one kid. But I still imagine I'll be overwhelmed...

Well, Baby #2, sorry you had a rough start. I hope you're doing ok in there and that you're growing and healthy. Can't wait to see you. And to see you and your sister together.

December 25, 2011- This past Tuesday, the 21st, I went for my first OB appointment with Dr. B. At some point after the + UPT, I had a dream that I went to her and she was mad at me for being pregnant again. She wasn't. In fact, as she was finishing the appointment she cracked the door open again and said she wasn't mad... [I got to see the baby on the ultrasound. Just one baby who was] measuring a few days small but [Chicken] did that, too. The [heart rate] was at 132 bpm. [The] due date was discussed. I thought it was August 8th before the appointment. The first nurse put it at August 7th. The ultrasound at August 10th. And the last nurse at August 8th. We're going to go with the 8th because that's our anniversary. Pretty fun if you ask me. [And why get a due date stuck in your head only to have to replace it with an actual birth date? The 8th HAS to be stuck in my head.]

January 20, 2012- [The last OB appointment was the 16th] and I weighed [blah]. Still. I haven't gained anything. That has me a little concerned... I know everything is different with every pregnancy but it's hard to assume everything is ok when you don't look or feel pregnant. The nurse used the Doppler and it took awhile to hear your heartbeat. I was getting nervous. Then we heard it but it wasn't registering on the machine. The nurse guessed it was in the 160s. I hope she was right as that's where you should be. Fingers crossed.

January 23, 2012- Yea! You're in there and measuring right on track! Your heart rate was 170 today and you measured 12 weeks and 1 day. I think you're 12 weeks exactly. Things look good regarding you being healthy and not having any major problems that we could see at this point. We'll know more in 6 weeks. We'll also find out if you're a boy or a girl. Right now I'm just really happy you seem ok. You were moving around, waving, and "talking." Fun to see. You also were not cooperative with the ultrasound tech for awhile. She made me cough and pushed on my belly A LOT. You finally gave in and got into a good position. Perhaps you'll be like me--doing what people want you to do, eventually, in your own time.

Back to the present. I'm 14 weeks today. My next appointment is next week. Next update may be in 2 weeks. I figure every 4 weeks is a good time. And gender-revealing ultrasound is scheduled for the 5th. Mark your calendars.

(In case you have no idea what the title means, this was the announcement of my pregnancy with Chicken.)

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

life list: run again

So there are about a million things I need to write about but I'm going to start with this one. I've pretty much always enjoyed running. I'm not so much a team sport kind of girl. And I enjoy having my feet planted firmly on the ground (says the person who has travelled for work for 6+ years). During elementary school, I gradually got worse and worse at sprinting. We'd have a track meet every year and you'd compete with kids from the other elementary school. My ribbons went from being blue and red to being yellow and green (1st and 2nd to 4th and 5th).

Sometime during Jr. High, though, we started running long distances. I had already succumbed to the fact that I was not athletic so this happened in PE class. I realized I was good at it. I was fast again! I wasn't that far behind the girl who was naturally athletic. Woohoo! But I still didn't run cross country or anything.

In college, I started running for real. At one point I was probably logging 15-ish miles each week. Not too bad. I had nice legs and could wear short shorts. Again, though, I fell off the wagon. And so it would go again and again. The last time I REALLY ran was shortly after completing grad school. This time I had friends who also ran. And I had a goal of running a 5k. Things were going well. And then I dislocated my knee. Again. I don't even know how many times that had happened before but recovery had always ranged from immediate to somewhat easy. Not this time. In fact, the physical therapist told me I should stop running. And I did. For 10 years.

At the time I was crushed. I was also angry. I didn't know why I should stop running because of my knees when I could dislocate one of them by walking or making the bed or bending down or getting out of the car. Does that mean I should just stay in bed all day? But I guess I was scared, too, since the only time I've had pain surpass it was later during full-on labor. Who wants to bring that on when there is zero reward to reap at the conclusion?

When I met my now-husband, he was a runner. I guess he is a runner. But he was in the zone of working out at the time. I was again envious. And I wished that he had known me when I, too, was a runner. I think he wished the same. Maybe that's what started the wheels turning. Perhaps I could do it again.

Over this last summer, The Brother started running. Leave it to him to think that he's still 18 and go from not running at all to just barrelling though during the hottest time of the year. I encouraged him to start the Couch to 5k program (something I had bookmarked years ago) since it eases you into things (much safer). After he started, it steamrolled. Seemed like everyone was starting. And while I was happy for and proud of those people, I was also getting angrier. I'm the one who enjoys running. I'm the one who should be doing it. Why am I watching all these other people take up a sport that I miss so much, a sport that some of them don't even like?

So I started. There were a couple of false starts and I haven't made it through the 9-week program yet. I'd get sick and would have to back track a week. Or I'd make it to a new week and feel like I was going to die so I'd stick with the previous week awhile longer. Usually I'll either take the dog or the baby with me. There are some glorious days where it's just me. Alone with my music, trying to find the strength to push through for one more minute before I can walk for one or two. Or feeling great and free in a way I don't doing anything else. I've kept it up (again, with breaks here and there) even though I'm 13 weeks pregnant (surprise! if you missed that on FB). I ran three times in Costa Rica, on the beach with a fantastic view. One of those days, Hubby even went with me. It was the first time we'd ran together (even though he could still run laps around me).

I've been thinking a lot about what milestone I'd need to reach before I could mark "run again" off the Life List. I was thinking "once I make it through the program." "Once I feel like I can just leave the house and run for X amount of time without stopping." But you know what? I leave the house and I run. It's in single-digit minute increments and walking is sprinkled in but I'm running. Again.