the endless tunnel
Since vacation was coming up, there were lots of things to plan and lots of last-minute things to figure out. I thought that once last Thursday came I'd be able to just enjoy it and feel relieved that the planning part was over. I did, thank goodness...for a bit anyway. Vacation was good and I'll have to wait until maybe Friday to post pictures (currently on the road and traveling with two laptops is ridiculous even for me).
The thing is, while I was on vacation, my friend's daughter went into the hospital, then ICU, then was gone. I don't even know what to say. She was only 26 and is leaving a 4-year-old son behind. It's so terrible and so sudden. I felt so bad for not being in town and couldn't wait to get back. It's just all so surreal. I'm having a hard time grasping it. So the services are going to be on Sunday and helping with the planning is my top priority right now.
Then add in my certification exam that I took on Saturday. On Friday night I decided that since the universe hadn't given me much opportunity to study, maybe it was also telling me that I didn't need to study. I just crammed and won't know how I did for 6 weeks. It was similar to the last exam in that I have no strong gut feeling regarding my performance.
And there's this nice boy I've been seeing. I really do enjoy getting together but have had a bit of an adjustment trying to keep any kind of balance in all the various areas of my life. So far I've done terribly. It's been awhile since I've had so much to juggle.
Not to mention how busy work has been and will continue to be at least through Halloween...
Now, I'm not complaining about all of this even though it sounds like it. I love my friends, new and old. I couldn't be happier that they are in my life. When they need something, I want nothing more than to be there for them. And all the piddly things are just that when compared to others. It's just been tough lately. So many things to mark off the list while trying to start some sort of relationship and mourn the loss of a friend. I just feel the need to run away right now.
UPDATE: Now I really want to run away. That boy? Doesn't want to see me anymore.