breaking the very thin thread

Nothing can start off a week like a biopsy. Well, except maybe a biopsy combined with bad news at work.

Biopsies? Not a barrel of laughs but not as terrible as one would imagine. (Which I find is the worst thing...what one imagines.) I got to the doctor's office and decided to skip the vicodin. The Fiance seemed surprised when I told him I really can get a grip on my anxiety and calm myself down physically so that part wasn't a big deal. So you get to lie down on a massage-type table but instead of hanging your head through the hole, you hang your boob. Awesome. I think it's better that you can't see what's going on down there.

I got more details from the technician when we were done. They deaden your skin and actual boob (which burns a little, I won't lie). And then they basically jam a straw through your skin and suck out specimens. But, you know, instead of an actual straw it's a big, fancy, expensive machine. I had about 6 taken out and they were not the rice-sized ones mentioned in my online research. Then they put in a tiny titanium tag so everyone knows where the specimens came from. This helps if there really is something wrong and they have to go back in. Or if there's nothing wrong but it still looks like there may be problems--future medical staff will know it's already been checked out.

Apparently they don't sew you up or anything. I just have this hole that is supposed to heal. I have to wear a sports bra and take sponge baths for 2 days. No heavy lifting. Takes awhile for the bleeding to completely stop. Cold compresses off and on for up to 2 days. Prescription for heavier pain meds. So far, not too bad but I think I'll be sore.

Oh, I forgot to mention that after my poor boob went through all of that, they still had to take 3 mammogram-type images. During the second one, I felt like I was going to faint. For the first time in my life. Had to sit down and everything. Again, awesome.

So I got home and started going through my work emails. Right now I'm on two studies. One that will never end (and I hate) and another that ends in July. Now, the end of a study is the most busy and frantic (perfect for when you're planning a wedding and dealing with health concerns). Actually, it seemed like an ok time since the big wedding push will come in that last month. My supervisor had told me that she'd try to keep me off a new study until after the honeymoon. I would just help out here and there where needed.

Yeah, so this email. Apparently I've been submitted for another study. That starts, oh, in May and ends August 14th. The entire study. In 4 months. In the last 4 months before the wedding (including the wedding date). Good. Grief. So yeah. I had a minor little breakdown. We'll see how it goes. Hopefully things will turn out fine. Say some prayers, light some candles...