Wednesday, August 13, 2008

frame of mind

I slept through the entire flight this morning. As we taxied to our gate, the flight attendant said something about going out there and making today a good day. Apparently that's what I needed to hear because I thought, "She's exactly right. It really is up to me to make it a good day."

On Monday, I went to the doctor to see about some meds for my troublesome allergies and also to complain about a few other problems I've had lately. And I've just felt run down. She basically attributed everything to stress, even the headaches I've had like clockwork once a month for the last few months. I don't think I buy that explanation for that one, but when I asked her what to do about it she said, "Break the cycle." What she meant was to take meds right before I knew the headache was going to come on. What I took from it was to just get out of this freakin' rut already. I've been so overwhelmed for so long that even when something goes smoothly I've celebrated only briefly before falling right back into it.

So, because of those two things I bring you the list of positives about the recent changes at work.
  • I'm working in psychiatry again and that really does make me excited.
  • I'm getting more competent at that protocol.
  • Trainings have gone well lately. I even have been able to do some problem solving.
  • I know enough to know what questions to ask.
  • I have a very personable leader on that study, someone I already knew who already got my personality and sense of humor.
  • I'll be able to make more day trips.
  • That means easier travel arrangements, less packing, and more nights at home.
  • I get to spend time in southern California. And due to some switcheroos, I don't have to fly into LA anymore, only San Diego. I like San Diego. LA? Not so much.
  • I get to see mountains in New Mexico. Real mountains. The other day I was driving to the airport and looked in my rear view mirror and thought, "Gosh, it really looks like rain back there." Nope, it was dark because there was a MOUNTAIN back there.
  • Other than that, I can get to my sites in less than an hour by plane or a few hours if I choose to drive.
  • Things are getting easier (and faster) to do.
  • Unlike Shreveport where my work was never done and I could never get finished early, sometimes I can catch earlier flights home. Or even just get in my car and DRIVE home.
  • I'm getting to meet new people who I'm sure will be just lovely. I hope.
  • I got a Starbucks gift card just for joining the team.
  • My other study let's me stay in town. Just two sites. In town. Sweet.
  • That study (which really isn't my favorite no matter how I spin it) is basically in maintenance phase. The worst should be over.
  • Nothing bad has happened when I've said no. Yet. Fingers crossed on that one.

It is getting better. I just need to realize that things will take a little more time to work themselves out. After September I'll have a much more predictable schedule. Life will be good. Heck, it's not so bad right now.

3 comments:

Katie Lady said...

You are too stressed girl! I'm glad it's getting better for you, but take some time to plant some roses this fall so you can stop and smell them next spring! Bonus: you get to work in your garden! :)

I like what the flight attendant said, I'm going to have to put that up on my desk when I start work.

Patois said...

I feel like you've made a brilliant list of things to be thankful for. The kind of lists we're supposed to make and look at when we're feeling out of sorts. I should do that. I felt really good for you reading it.

Here's hoping you kick those headaches in the ass.

Bubba's Sis said...

Good for you for looking for the positive! Too often we forget to do that. There's always a silver lining - you just gotta look for it!

Hang in there, girl. And take those meds!